I Missed Out On the Countless Blessings of Grandparents
Posted: Monday, September 19, 2011
by The Old Gray Mare
www.DressYourHorse.com
I really did miss out – not having grandparents!
Observing my generation of people in stores, traveling or simply having lunch at McDonalds with their grandchildren reminds me that I missed out on a chunk of life. I think grandparents are the best thing going for families with youngsters or older kids.
My grandparents had already passed away when I came along. I have no memories of them and, worse, there are no pictures of them either. My mother was orphaned in her toddler years and was an only child raised by a paternal uncle, and my father’s parents were already gone when I was an infant.
I doted on my grandkids when they were born. My grandson and my daughter lived with me from the time he was born. Along came my granddaughter and until she was two, we lived together. My life pretty well revolved around our little family.
The grandfather, my first husband and ex, lived far away and was never in the picture. The children’s father was fine with the living arrangement and had sporadic involvement in the little ones’ lives – that is, until he remarried. And then all hell started.
Custody battles! Arguments. Kids getting used. Pushing and pulling – the adults were shameful. I hired attorneys and a childrens’ advocate attorney. Back and forth to court. Fights in court and hateful behavior.
My daughter did the best she could under the circumstances. She found another love and along came two more children, both girls. The births triggered a pulmonary embolis and subsequent health issues from which my daughters suffers to this day.
Her ex saw his opportunity and was awarded custodial (with joint) custody of the oldest kids. Despite my fights in the courts, he withheld the kids from our side of the family and for two years from his own mother as well.
More court fights and problems and spent dollars I could ill afford . . .
Fast forward to the kids becoming teenagers. What good did all this nonsense and ill will accomplish on the father’s behalf? My grandson left home at 16 – to live in the woods rather than stay at home with the stepmother until the other grandmother and I and my kids joined forces to see him through school to graduate. My granddaughter left home at 16, two years later, and now lives with us. We are seeing her through her senior year right now.
This is still an ongoing story of wasted lives, emotions and heartbreak. We will persevere and see this through. We are going to have productive, proficient and upstanding citizens when my grandkids strike out on their own, and all of us will have overcome the hardships.No, this story did not play out easily, but we are all fighting to have a happy ending after all.
The Old Gray Mare writes for www.DressYourHorse.com and her Blog sites.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Heidi, you are amazing. I agree with Fran, keep moving forward. Because of the Love your grandchildren are receiving, they will persevere and prosper with joy in their hearts and reasons to do well in this world! Hugs, prayers, and blessings to you! TeresaThank you so much for that, Teresa. I am happy the rough days are behind us. We've missed so much and had such trouble. It is difficult at times. But what counts is the present. Thank you for the support.
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